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All About Atlantic County

Atlantic County is a county of contrasts. On the eastern side, we have Atlantic City, population 40,368 (not counting tourists, suburbanite commuters, and jitneys).

On the western side, we have Hammonton, population 12,604 (not counting migrant workers, blueberry bushes, and religious statuaries).

Between these extremes, shades and flavors of both can be found. For instance, the blink-and-you-miss-it splendor that is Corbin City, our southernmost municipality, has a population of 520. Egg Harbor Township, the bane of Census-takers since the 1990s, has a population of 30,000 32,000 36,000 39,000 (ah, screw it ... who knows anymore?).

Anyway, through the magic of the internets, I am pleased to present you with a birds-eye tour of this majestic land. Let’s start with the arbitrarily-drawn geographical boundaries ...



PART ONE: The Shore

First on the list, we have the Atlantic City area ... which, for the sake of this article, will also include neighboring towns of Brigantine, Ventnor, Margate, and Longport.



There’s more to Atlantic City than casinos, beaches, and the homeless. The city also boasts some of the fanciest marble-type curbs I’ve ever seen on any public thoroughfare. And while you might think that Atlantic City’s historic reputation as a bastion of governmental corruption and greed would be an embarrassment to the regional populace, nothing could be further from the truth! We love to tune in and see what kind of crazy shenanigans the city council will get involved with next ... from sex-tape scandals, to disappearing mayors ... the storyline always keeps us guessing.


Will philanthropy and integrity ever find their way into Atlantic City Council? Tune in next week ...

The nearby cities of Ventnor, Margate, Longport and Brigantine, while not as newsworthy, are still rather interesting in their own rights. Margate features one of America’s great natural wonders: Lucy the Elephant. According to her keepers, Lucy is the only elephant in the world that you can walk through ... and come out alive. Yes indeed!



PART TWO: The Route 9 Corridor

This includes the bay-bordering cities of Absecon, Pleasantville, Northfield, Linwood, and Somers Point.



The socio-economic patterns of the Route 9 corridor boggle the mind. In Linwood, wealthy enclaves and professional buildings spread in all directions. In Pleasantville, residential decay, apathy, and businesses taking advantage of a halved sales-tax rate are the order o’ the day. Northfield, while not entirely opulent, generally leans toward the Linwood demographic, while Absecon and Somers Point fall somewhere in the middle. Regardless of income levels or ethnic makeup, these places all have one thing in common: HAUTE CUISINE. Visiting any of these cities will yield a wide selection of culinary options, from fast food, sub shops, and delis, to fancy restaurants with oak paneling.

PART THREE: The Suburbs

This includes half of Galloway Township, all of Egg Harbor Township, and the Eastern quarter of Hamilton Township. Why so arbitrary? Because it’s my article.



For those who don’t know the saga, I will regale you: In the late 1970s, the State Pinelands Commission was created to regulate development in the ecologically sensitive area of New Jersey called the Pinelands (or Pine Barrens, depending on how folksy you’d like to come across as). Much of Atlantic County is engulfed by the Pinelands, and therefore falls under the jurisdiction of the Pinelands Commission. Apparently somebody in the Commission came up with the bright idea of channeling heavy development into designated areas in order to save the more remote and sensitive areas from being developed. In theory, this was good. In real life, it didn’t exactly work out so well.



Portions of Galloway, Hamilton, and Egg Harbor Townships were given the lucky designations, and since then, their respective populations have increased by thousands. Unfortunately, some things such as infrastructure and school funding were not adequately considered in the plan, and there have been some (actually, quite a lot) of problems related to these issues. How did these towns handle their burdens?

Galloway, for the most part, prepared by segregating their obligations into different parts of the township (i.e., schools in one section, low-income housing in another, senior housing in another, etc.). Hamilton built a mall in the middle of nowhere, and thus turned the immediate area into a booming commercial district. Egg Harbor Township copes with the burden by incessantly blaming the Pinelands Commission. Apparently it is an effective strategy, as the mayor of E.H.T. has been re-elected without fail for over 20 years. Who knew that blame could be the basis of an entire political career?



Egg Harbor Township Mayor “Sonny” McCullough ... who also built a golf course on top of a landfill and named it after himself.

PART FOUR: The County Seat / The South

This includes most of Hamilton Township, Weymouth Township, Estell Manor, and Corbin City.



The general ambiance in this section of the county is Small Town Americana™. Mays Landing, in Hamilton Township, is the official seat of county government, or so they claim; actually, most of the government decisions are made in Atlantic City (where the county operates a 13-story office building) or in Northfield (where the weekly Freeholder meetings take place). But hey, at least Mays Landing still has the jail and the Criminal Court Complex.



The Old County Courthouse in Downtown Mays Landing

Weymouth Township stinks with history. On Route 50, going south, there are the remains of a once-thriving World War I industrial town called Belcoville. It sprang up practically overnight in the autumn of 1917, but before the paint on the town hall was dry, tragedy struck: we won the war. Today, Belcoville is a shadow of its former glory, although there are still a number of residents occupying old or entirely rebuilt houses in town.

Estell Manor is technically a city; one of the largest, geographically, in the entire state. Yet the population is less than 2,000. How does it do it? Why, with land! Lots of land. Much of Estell Manor’s acreage is held by State or Federal wildlife agencies, thereby protecting it from any major development projects.



Unfortunately, there is one development project that threatens Estell Manor’s pastoral ways, and ironically, it is coming from Atlantic County Government. They plan to expand the Veterans’ Cemetery in the county-owned Estell Manor Park, which in itself is not an issue ... but their plans to expand the cemetery will include the displacement of a heavily-used nature trail as well as the destruction of one of the last remaining stands of mature pine trees in the entire park. There are many other areas within the park that are better suited for a cemetery expansion, but they have been suggested to no avail. Thank you Dennis Levinson, for your gutless acquiescence to the Veteran Vote.



Dennis Levinson, the County Executive ... Also a Career Politician ... and Successful Idiot

PART FIVE: North Country

This includes Mullica Township, part of Galloway Township, Egg Harbor City and Port Republic. No inbreeding jokes, please.



This part of the county is decent and rural; it’s the God-fearing-est, Republican-est, Love-It-Or-Leave-It-est, Embodiment of Mother and Nation-est, Apple Pie-est, Don’t-Touch-My-Guns-est, Pickup-Drivin’-est, Venison-Chawin’-est, Red-Headed-est, Blue-Eyed-est, Five-Cars-in-the-Yard-Plus-Six-That-Don’t-Run-est, Church-Goin'-est, Pine-Scented-est, Anti-Arugula-Eating-est, FRESH-PLOWED PIECE OF REAL ESTATE IN THESE HYAR PARTS. Yeehaw!



I grew up in Mullica, so you will naturally have to excuse me as I get rather choked up in mentioning it. Ah, memories ... mowing the moss ... digging holes in the yard ... forgetting to fill them back up again (oops!) ... but I digress.

Mullica itself is divided into sections. Each section has a local flavor. For example: Elwood is the most populous and ethnically diverse section (13% black, 36% Hispanic, and possibly someone who is half-Indian). Devonshire is where the local farm czars, The Butterhofs, control the economy. Sweetwater, enjoying its climb into the higher tax brackets, boasts an increasing number of ginormous and opulent homes (also known as McMansions). Weekstown is owned by the neighborhood church, so NO SINNING! And Nesco is ... well, we won’t get into what Nesco is.

PART SIX: The West

The last leg of our Atlantic County tour covers Hammonton, Folsom, Buena Vista Township, and Buena Borough. Important tip: people look at you funny if you pronounce it as anything except “Byoo-na”.



Buena Vista Township is predominantly a farming community with some amenities for the non-agriculturally-inclined. One interesting thing about the township is that it has more ZIP codes per square mile than any other town in Atlantic County, with a total of seven ZIP codes serving a combined area of 41 square miles.

Hammonton is such a self-sufficient town, that you could almost consider it a nation unto itself. In fact, unlike any other town in Atlantic County, Hammonton operates its own municipal sewage treatment plant.

Let me pause for a moment to let the full impact of what I’ve told you sink in.

On second thought, we'd better not get hung up on the sewer plant, otherwise there will be no room for the many other highlights of Hammonton ... such as their proud status as the Blueberry Capitol of the World! And their state-of-the-art High School! And, of course, the Ronald Reagan Rock - dedicated to the memory of his visit to town and ensuing speech in September 1984. It was a day that will live on forever in the minds of those who witnessed it! ... I assume.



I hope you found this article informative and amusing, and I hope that I was able to impart a little of the texture, flavor, color, and political nonsense of Old Atlantic County to you. This is Dennis Hyer signing off ...

(Written for the Atlantic County Cartoons website)

Comics I forgot to post in the last month ...

Some serious time slippage has occurred since I last posted anything here, so I ceremoniously present a couple more comic strips (what else?) ...

Goombye

Siren of the Sweet Peas

Lockout

Hail Mary, full of ... weight!

Welcome to Kirouki's

This is the 12th daily strip I've drawn since May. At this rate I will have enough cartoons to fill a book ... by the 3rd year of Obama's presidency? Hmmm.

More Owen Fitzgerald

John K. has been doing a bunch of excellent posts analyzing Owen Fitzgerald's cartooning skills, and in doing so has made me want to further study Owen's work.

Instead of just drawing his poses out-of-context (like I used to do), this time I drew the whole panel to see how he composed his pictures and placed his characters. I didn't try to make them look solid and well done, since I was just trying to see how he went about composing the action in the panels.






(Oh yeah, and I don't know what's up with the dialogue I put into the word balloons on the first page ... it was late at night and I thought it was funny!)

Babysitting Strip

I don't know what else to call this one.

Astrological Inhuman Relations

Mixing astrology with Milk of Magnesia produces a rather fizzy comic ...

Desert Madness!

Milt Gray recently analyzed Bob Clampett's black and white cartoons over on John K.'s blog, and one of the standout cartoons he mentioned was "Porky in Egypt" ... which was illustrated with a couple of awesome frame grabs of Porky's camel losing his marbles under the desert sun. What an eye opener! If there are any Clampett haters out there scoffing at these frames, maybe you stayed out in the heat too long ...











I recommend that you go to John K.'s blog and read the entire post (and see all of the frame grabs, instead of just these from "Porky in Egypt").

And if these frames have piqued your interest, you can watch the entire cartoon right here ...

Inhuman Relations - Prime Time TV

This is what happens to people who try to watch TV with me ...

Unscrupulousity

Here is humanity in a nutshell ...

Oh the Inhumanity

I'm running out of wise-ass titles for these cartoon posts. I think I'll just play it straight from now on.

More Cartoons From Me Again For the Second Time

I forgot to put these up for whoever is interested ...

Inhuman Relations # I don't know

How many of these things have I drawn? I can't remember, so here is the latest ...

Betty and Louis

Lately I've gotten to be a big fan of Louis Prima, particularly his later recordings with Keely Smith ("Just a Gigolo" and "That Old Black Magic" are two of my favorites). The man has an unmistakable voice!

So when I watched the following Betty Boop cartoon from 1931, and heard someone singing who sounded a lot (and I mean A LOT) like Louis Prima, I had to Google the situation to find out if my hunch was right or if I was just crazy. Well I guess I'm just crazy, because I couldn't find anything about Louis Prima and Betty Boop together (aside from a fan-made video comparing their different versions of "Just a Gigolo"). So you'll have to decide for yourself if this is really him singing about the Delaware Lackawanna and going insane at the end of this terrific cartoon. What do you think? ...

"Mask-a-Raid" (1931)

Visit Polly and Her Pals

The fine folks at Barnacle Press have posted a large number of Cliff Sterrett's "Polly and Her Pals" daily strips. You should hurry over and take a look!

You should also bookmark the Barnacle Press website, because they have hundreds (if not thousands) of other classic newspaper comic strips available to read for free.

Inhuman Relations #7

Two Catholic school girls walk into a bar, and ...

Inhuman Relations #6

Fun with Income Taxes and Feminine Instincts of Protection ...